Life Moments with a Split Personality

I keep thinking I should write a post about exercise or food stuff but what powerfully keeps coming to mind is – life moments and the journey.  So… the exercise and the foodie bits will just have to wait.  🙂

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I have been looking back at the last 5 years of my life and most time of the time what I see is the darkness.  Lately tho, moments of joy and triumph have been surfacing like bubbles from a deep swimming fish (like Dora’s … just keep swimming, just keep swimming).  In the last 5 years, I have fully regained a healthy weight and fitness level.  I’ve successfully completed a 1/2 marathon, the Tough Mudder, Ragnar Relay and, thru trial and error, figured out the food routine that works best for me.  In the last 5 years, I have successfully survived being in business.  (I’ve heard that most companies fail in the first 5 years – hopefully, I’m in the clear)  And, while I am surrounded by an amazing team, I have done this as a single female – making all the decision myself, learning the skills needed to personally make it happen and whatever else had to be done.  It hasn’t always been pretty either!  I have supported friends, my brother and my sister, giving them a place to call home and more backing then they will ever know.  Most importantly, I have had to come to terms with and fully accept all of who I am – the imperfections, the learning lessons and the overwhelming love I receive from others.  Sometimes acceptance and receiving is so hard!!! Jeez!  Can anyone relate?  I’ve had to come to terms with all that has happened and will happen but in that acceptance and, ultimately, the embrace comes with it an incredible sense of peace and an empowered feeling.  Now, more then ever, I have a sense of urgency to help others and give them hope… that anything is possible.

In fact, I can’t imagine not being available to support anyone and everyone who needs it.  (It’s probably why I do what I do with Real Health and USANA).  And this is where I find myself at a crossroads… a split personality really.  What’s interesting is that when I worked as an engineer, the company I worked for did an entire People Mapping workshop.  Turns out I’m pretty much equal parts ‘Task Oriented’ to ‘Free Spirit’.  And how to you wrap those two together cohesively?

As an engineer, I yearned to be free… to travel… to have no schedule.  Now, 5 years later I yearn for task work.. someone to tell me what to do!  How bizarre!  I want nothing more than to create lists and just barrel through to completion.  However, being a part of the people business AND working for yourself, rarely lends for a straight through list completion – do this, then that and viola almost never happens.  Tasks are often interrupted by just about everything and even if one task is important when the day starts, it will change as the day goes on.  Not to mention – when a business operates around other people… it’s about THEIR tasks, not mine.  HAHA

So what is a girl to do?  I can’t say that I have the answers yet but the first step is awareness and admitting I have a problem.  Hi, I’m Jenn and I am a task oriented, free-spirited human being.  It is truly an amazing combination actually.  Not only can I get things done but I will dream big!  While I continue to harness the two sides of my personality and make them work FOR me instead of AGAINST each other… I wonder what tremendous things just might happen.  And I am finally fully invested in to the ride.

So, now it’s your turn.  Is there something in your life that makes you feel torn in two?  Something deep inside that makes it difficult to fully embrace all that you are?  Don’t fret because it is that combination that makes you the absolute most unique and amazing person that this world needs.  Embrace both sides, work within both sides and see what magically begins to happen.  

Wishing you an amazing day, may you live it to the fullest!  ~Jenn

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