I often berated myself, “knowing” I could have done better. I would verbally pummel myself in to the ground for “not being good enough” or “not being worthy.”
I wonder if I am alone in this sinking feeling?
Today…as I look back, I am able to acknowledge that I did the best I knew how at that given moment. I fumbled thru many parts of life, stumbled around and made a plethora of missteps. I did the best I knew how to at that time.
How many of you have your a story? A story of battles fought… sometimes won and sometimes not.
Here it is, the two most insightful realizations that have helped me live life to the fullest:
- I am happy to stink at some things!
- I was STUCK, I just didn’t know why until I looked around.
Perfection was the name of my game. Work hard, don’t be a burden, do it all, be the best at it all. The dilemma? I did many things. Have you ever tried to be the best at everything you’re doing? Talk about pressure!
Life as I knew it was about high-achieving results in everything.
Fast forward a few years along with some awfully tough times. I would send a note to my past self – I’d say that it’s not JUST about results, it’s about the effort. Perseverance.
Reality check #1: I am happy to stink at some things!
Perfection is a myth. And for too many years, striving for this unicorn caused dreadful stress and depression. Note: any length of time is “too many” in this case.
Here’s my real truth: I’m five-star at some things. That’s what I get to bring to the table, that’s where I get to give and then give more. That’s where my light shines brightest. See, when we do our best at what we’re good at… everyone wins AND we feel fulfilled. Plus it’s fun!
Moral of reality check number #1: discover what you’re good at and play there. Give from that place because you’ll have more energy and more to give. Honor the gifts your higher power gave you. You’ll also have to own what you’re not good at… let most of those go.
Small caveat: Self awareness does not give you permission not to change at all. Meaning – some things you may be not so good at will need improvement (not perfection) to thrive. Such as the money game…. it’s hard to thrive when you are just surviving financially. Tip: work to improve the skills you need to thrive. Become “good enough” at those things… leave the rest behind or hire them them out.
Reality check #2: I was STUCK, I just didn’t know why until I looked around
Get this… I finally became aware of my surroundings and what do I see? A wooden picture called Teenage Dreams. Strangely, perhaps divinely, this has become a truth I live by…. however, I am no longer a teenager and I wish for another to experience this treasure.
Without thinking, I was transferring knick-knacks and pictures every time I moved. Putting them right back on the shelf they were on at the old location. Don’t get me wrong… I have great moments and wonderful memories.
They were yesterday.
One major ‘surroundings’ purge opened up a gushing stream of creative energy and ideas.
What’s holding you back might have something to do with what’s surrounding you. Make the decision to celebrate your memories, appreciate them and put them in a scrapbook.
Moral of reality check #2: take a look around. Do your surroundings represent your present and your future? Family… friends… your closet… dreams? If not, perhaps it’s time for a purge.
Sometimes what served you in the past no longer serves you now. A hard part is figuring out when to let go and move on, without guilt. Honor the memories, own your past and then let them go. ~Jenn Abbenhaus